wack-a-doodle rampant

I heard so many news about my college friends today. Most of them are good news, but I can't help feeling stressed out. Compared to them, I feel the sense of under-achievement. One of them is an HR assistant manager in one of the biggest oil and gas companies (which is sadly one of my dream job), some are finishing their Master degrees, some are applying and have been applied to Master program (and landed themselves scholarships) and some are..well, some are achieving over me simply by working in a stable company and get a decent job.

No, this is not me being ungrateful and whining. This is me smacking my own head and wondering why I let my life took a whole different turn. Well yeah, God has plans for me but I bet God gave me the chance to choose what I wanted to do then.

...

Wow, I seem so depressing..

Anyway, on a lighter note, I learned about hernia today.

Wait, that doesn't seem more cheerful.

But oh what the hell..

So yeah.. I learned about hernia today. Me and dad went to my uncle's private practice and they first talked about mother's brain hernia. Turned out that when someone has been diagnosed with a quite severe hernia in his/her vital part, death is only a matter of days. Yes, it's that bad. So if you find a painful bump on your body, go check it as soon as you can. Uncle also said that hernia is like a wall without proper foundation - when you knock it, it'll all come tumbling down. And you can't prevent it! You wouldn't know you have the tendency until you have it. And note this, every female reader of my blog: the tendency (like any other genetic diseases and malfunctions) is also determined during pregnancy.

The last bit of information freaked me out. I once read an article that a child's psychology and physiology is determined even at the earliest stage of reproduction. So it all correlates. Hmmm..

Wow. Now this post is turning into a geek.

Nevertheless, I learned other two things about hernia and pregnancy-determined sickness. One; is that we humans are more fragile than I thought to be and our lives are even more at the mercy of God. Two; is that even when parents don't mean it and don't want it, they still make their children's lives a mess.

So dear future children of mine, I hope you'd forgive me and still pray for me even when I'm not around. May you be great people despite your flaws from my mistakes. Amen.

-- Femoral hernia picture is taken from here.

lost cat

When work, commitment, and pleasure all become one and you reach that deep well where passion lives, nothing is impossible. (Unknown)

If there is no passion in your life, then have you really lived? Find your passion, whatever it may be. Become it, and let it become you and you will find great things happen FOR you, TO you and BECAUSE of you. (T. Alan Armstrong)

Passion and purpose go hand in hand. When you discover your purpose, you will normally find it’s something you’re tremendously passionate about. (Steve Pavlina)

Nothing great in the world has been accomplished without passion. (Georg Wilhelm Friedrich Hegel)

Hello God, I think I may need a high-dose injection of passion right now. I have absolutely no idea where I should happily drain all my energy into.

it's not the same of having you here

He's finally going to a different island and we're gonna have a semi long-distance relationship. This is totally new to me.

I know I'm not abandoned, but I'd still prefer not being left behind. It's always been my issue since I was a child.

And at this time of my life, I'm actually one of those easy quitters. I even think I may have given up on getting myself applied for next year's postgraduate program.

So yeah, I've had thoughts about quitting early. I know, I'm such an awful person, you don't need to tell me that.

But I'm not quitting. Because he's such a good catch and he's not a quitter. Plus, it's such a lame excuse to quit and it'd make me a friend less.

I really hope we can work this out. Amen.